


Save Me

by excuseyoupeasant



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Character Death, Hanahaki Disease, I cried while writing this, I'M SORRY HYUNJIN-, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sad Ending, What Have I Done, it's ok if you hate me now i hate me too, oh my god i'm a horrible fucking person, we don't proofread in this house WE DIE LIKE WARRIORS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 23:18:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16356203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excuseyoupeasant/pseuds/excuseyoupeasant
Summary: hyunjin is suffering from hanahaki disease from his classmate and closest friend, han jisung





	Save Me

**Author's Note:**

> ok just full warning you now you may just cry

Hyunjin couldn’t breathe. He lied there on his bed, ignoring the pale light that shone through the windows as he gazed at the plain ceiling above. There were small geraniums and yellow tulips all around him, the parts that weren’t soaked in blood a lovely mix of sunshine yellow and pastel violet. He was somehow trembling there, trying his hardest to get a full breath in but every time he tried, more flowers fought their way up, joining the others on the hardwood floor all around Hyunjin. How had it come to this?

Oh, right. Now he remembered.

He was in love with a boy named Han Jisung.

Three months ago, this all started. It was both of their first years at college--still is, actually--and they clashed in the hallway in a very drama-esque manner while they were trying to get to their respective classes. Of course, later in the day, they easily recognized each other in the last class of the day and quickly became friends as they sat right next to each other in the back of the class. Honestly, very cliched in Hyunjin’s opinion. They were the best of friends for a while, before Hyunjin had sent him in the direction of a pretty girl as a joke, and the first flowers of love started to bloom when they had actually hit it off. This was a week ago. Hyunjin only realized how easily Jisung’s witty remarks and cheeky grins made him fall after he learned he couldn’t have him.

He hadn’t attended class in a while; he was too weak to. Probably wouldn’t be able to stay, though, considering now he was much paler than he used to be, much skinnier since he couldn’t eat, and not to mention he could barely take a breath without coughing up a flower or two. It wouldn’t be long before he was sent off to the hospital to get the flowers taken care of, which he didn’t want.

Another bout of coughing and hacking shook Hyunjin from his thoughts. His hand flew to his mouth, clamping tightly over it as coughs and gags shook his body. More tears escaped his squeezed shut eyes, rolling down his temples and staining the sheets beneath him. Once Hyunjin had calmed himself down, he raised his arm up, the sleeve rolled up so he wouldn’t get it dirty, and took a miserable glance up at it. Yellow and purple flowers clung to his skin, covered in a gross mixture of saliva and blood. He groaned and shook his arm off, sending the small geraniums and tulips flying. Hyunjin rested his clean arm over his eyes and shut them again, trying to mentally summon Seungmin or Changbin or _someone_ , just so someone could comfort him in what were probably his final hours. He didn’t know how long he had left, but he doubted it was very long. It was already getting harder and harder to breathe by the second. He imagined he might not make it to tomorrow.

Hyunjin closed his eyes, ignoring the tightening in his chest. Immediately his thoughts were filled with memories and dark thoughts and so many questions, trying to make sense of what was going to happen to him whenever his time came. Then came more tears. Hyunjin didn’t want to die. He wanted to live a long and happy life, not having to worry about anything. In fact, he wanted to live forever. To be surrounded by all those who love him and Jisung. Hyunjin didn’t want his friends to suffer, either. He could only imagine how heartbroken they’d all be when they found out Hyunjin was gone. He didn’t want them to blame Jisung, either. Yes, Jisung was the cause of this disease Hyunjin had, but it wasn’t his fault, not in the least. If anything, Hyunjin was to blame. He should have been stronger, should have tried to resist Jisung’s natural charms and joking flirtations more. Should have gotten the flowers surgically removed when he was still strong enough to stand. Probably should have never introduced Jisung to that girl at all, or even gotten as close with him as he did in the first place. Hyunjin was so weak, so thoughtless, so stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

A sudden loud and frantic knocking jolted him back to the present. Someone was at his door, and they were very eager to get inside. Well, whoever it was was wasting their time knocking; they could just walk right in, since Hyunjin had left it unlocked for Changbin to come and go as he pleased, which was quite frequently in order to check on his friend. He suspected this was Seungmin or Felix or Minho, only now finding out why Hyunjin was skipping out on classes. Hyunjin waited, his eyes closed and his head tipped back, counting the seconds until the person outside realized that they could just open the door.

Seventeen seconds of incessant pounding on the door passed before whoever was knocking tried the doorknob, and it twisted right open. A beat passed before Hyunjin finally opened his eyes, turning his head to see who wanted to get into his dorm so badly.

And there stood Jisung, standing in the doorway and gripping the doorknob so tight his knuckles turned white. He looked like he was about to cry at seeing Hyunjin like this.

Hyunjin was already crying from seeing Jisung at all.

He was already having to gasp for breath that wouldn’t come, and seeing Jisung there, especially with that pained of an expression on his face, only made it so much worse. More flowers came up, and Hyunjin how many minutes would pass before an azalea passed through his lips. Jisung was at his side in seconds, settling himself onto the bed and gathering the older student into his arms. Jisung cradled him there, quietly pleading for Hyunjin to breathe, breathe, which was a bit of a ridiculous plea in Hyunjin’s opinion, but he couldn’t blame Jisung for trying. Still, Jisung’s anguish did the exact opposite of what he was urging Hyunjin to do, and in fact only seemed to hasten his suffocation. Hyunjin could only cling to his friend weakly, trying to breathe but to no avail. Then something seemed to push through the geranium and tulips clogging his throat and lungs. It opened hair airway for only a second before it closed right back up, and Hyunjin gagged, the object falling from his mouth. Hyunjin opened his hand and when it landed he saw it was a single azalea, its petals surprisingly clean. Hyunjin had already started to drift away, a result of the lack of oxygen. At least the last thing he would feel is the warmth of Jisung’s arms, though it did little to dispel of the cold that encased Hyunjin’s whole body.

Hyunjin pushed himself away a bit, only to see Jisung’s tear-stained face. No, don’t be sad, Jisungie, Hyunjin wanted to tell him. It’ll be alright, Jisungie, keep smiling for me. In his final moments of consciousness, laying limply in Jisung’s arms, Hyunjin managed to hold up the azalea in his hands, his final wish to his beloved to take care of himself for Hyunjin. Jisung only cried harder, shaking his head before pulling Hyunjin back to him, burying his face into the crook of Hyunjin’s neck.

“No, no, no,” he sobbed, the words muffled in Hyunjin’s head. “Please, you can’t go, you can’t go.”

Hyunjin let his eyes close, ignoring the pain in his chest from the lack of air. He was terrified of dying, but it was approaching fast, and all he could do was accept it.

Jisung pleaded and pleaded, for Hyunjin to wake up, for Hyunjin to forgive him. “Please, hyung,” he begged. “Please, you can’t die. I love you, I love you, please, I’m so sorry, you can’t go, _please_!”

But Hyunjin’s eyes never opened. He lied still, lifeless in Jisung’s arms, still clutching the azalea in his slim fingers. Jisung shook him gently, calling his name. Then he shook him again, harder this time. “Hyunjin,” he whispered, running his fingers over the boy’s full lips. He looked so peaceful, like he was asleep. Like he’d wake up any moment now. But no matter how much Jisung begged, pleaded for it to be true, he never would open his eyes again. Jisung felt the first flowers trying to force their way up his throat, but he ignored them, hugging Hyunjin’s body tight against him, sobbing hysterically. “Come back,” he cried. “Come back!”

Jisung cried and cried, rocking Hyunjin back and forth like he was lulling him to sleep. Hyunjin was gone now, and it was all his fault. Whose else could it be? He could have prevented this, could have came to Hyunjin sooner, could have saved his life. But he didn’t. Jisung deserved this, for killing his precious Hyunjinnie.

**Author's Note:**

> like i said it's totally ok if you hate me now i'm in the same boat oof


End file.
